Infinity and Beyond
This holiday season was a difficult one for me. I have made it my mission every year since my Mom has passed to feel the joy of the Christmas season, since Christmas was her most favorite holiday. My Dad use to tease and tell her it looked like Santa threw up in the house, because the she literally decorated from floor to ceiling.
My Dad’s dementia has taken a strong hold now and there is no glimpse of the man who was married to my beautiful mother with two children, a son in-law, and 4 amazing grandchildren. This Christmas season was not the brightest nor the shiniest. There are spaces in our life that are grey, cloudy, and just blame stink. Sometimes no mantra, sunny attitude can wash away our heavy heart. Instead of fighting the feelings and rejecting them we need to allow them, accepting them as part of our journey.
Today I was cleaning up Christmas and I came across LOVE,this is just what my heart was calling for. This week we are going to be placing Daddy ,*deep sigh. The time has come and it is the right thing to do for all, I know this deep in my heart. However my heart is heavy with so many emotions. I have had my Mom on my mind and in my heart at every turn for the past month and a half, unable to shake the deep need for one of her hugs and her sweet voice telling me “everything’s going to be ok, I love you.” Well I got what I was asking for today when cleaning up the attic to make room for the decorations to go back, I found this amazing piece of coral I found 8 years ago. Two things stuck me, first the heart shape. Hearts where all over our home growing up and always in Mommy’s jewelry. And as some of you know she leaves them for me in water droplets, rocks, eggs, and in just about everything when I need to feel her near. The second thing is when I realized I found this 8 years ago on a trip with the kids to Florida after a difficult time with Caitlyn’s health, I nearly fell over. See when you flip an 8 on its side it is an infinity symbol.
We are connected to our loved ones for infinity, with an infinite amount of love, for infinity. May you find your signs and symbols of infinite love today and every day. Namaste My Loves.